Ok, I’m back to blogging, having gotten over the hacker scare – yeah, that’s why you haven’t been hearing from me. The internet is dangerous, kiddies, lions, tigers, and bears…oh, my! and oh well…Fixed the prob. Danger has passed. There is no dragon – or lion or tiger or…you get the idea, heheh
Anyway, I am watching Mansfield Park! Yay! The one with Johnny Lee Miller, James Purefoy, and Alessandro Nivola – yeah, that GOOD one! lol. Today was a good day – a normal day, filled with the emotional fluxations, fear, happiness, and arguments that any twenty year old should enjoy. Thank God. So, hopefully, I will find some inspiration for REDBRIAR…or maybe something new. I feel the need for new. Bear with me please.
Hope you are all doing well. June! I’m so excited for you! Steph, I need to read your stuff! I’ve been sacrificing good lit for lesser pursuits, aka. money. Bleh. ‘Nough said.
As a final note: Regret is the enemy of Dreams…Dream on beautiful…
I am a complicated mess!
Is this a new discovery? No, not discovery, perhaps just a new understanding…hmm…I know random huh. But that’s what I CAN say…
Has anybody ever felt like this?
Love is a great deal hurting
A balance of imbalance
Nightmares and dreaming
All part of one…
Sensations of drowning, burning
Empty and full
Power and weakness; both consuming
Your ravaged soul
You cry, you laugh, even bleed
You try, you fight, then you leave
But now you have a need
So you go back for more
A poison you gladly drink
Thirsting for the transportation
It takes you to the brink
Yet, has no limitations
What fools we mortals be
Tying our lives to one
Saying chains make us free
Flying towards the sun
Love is a great deal hurting
Yet, we hunger for the pain;
Like the pheonix burning
We feel life coming again
In my eyes you can see my soul.
But do you know my truth?
My soul has shadows of the snake,
The sands of my mind are etched
with writhing steps,
My breath hides them.
The light of faith and hope unite
with my darkness,
Like the stars and the night.
They fight with each other,
waiting for the dawn,
Waiting for the star of life,
For the truth.
With my words you hear my heart.
But do you understand?
Foreign is my heart,
Longing for another world, its home.
It is holy and pagan,
Rife with danger,
Ripe with light.
It is the fruit waiting to be picked,
On the verge of spoiling,
in the balance.
– – –
Written last night around 10:00 pm. Copyrighted to me :)
Listen to Josh Groban’s Remember while viewing…
be viewed through rose colored glasses…Seriously.
The past two days have shown me, or rather, reaffirmed, that life must be seen with the eyes of faith and hope – otherwise there is no point to standing up to and for life. There will always be difficulties, always struggles. There will always be another battle to fight. Wounds heal, and dreams live forever.
In my last post I just kind of spewed a stream of negativity, and for that I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. But I am human, and as such, there are times when the world just brings me down. But we are in the world and not of it, we have hearts, minds, and souls, that can soar above any obstacle, and there is always hope – always. Hope is like energy, we can’t see it, we don’t always feel it, but it is there, and it is waiting for us to grab onto it.
This is what I should be saying and thinking about. Needless to say, though everything is not perfect, I am purposing to look on life with a positive eye, and a truthful one at that. College, work…they are important, but they are not the backbone of life. God, family, and love is the backbone, they’re what should keep us, me, standing, and they are the reasons for living. I just wanted to share this and get that negative post nulled :) I’m planning on applying for a loan and starting at a Community College next week. Two semesters there and I’ll transfer to state – Hopefully!
Keeping my chin up!
ps. Never lie to yourself.
This is a fanfiction story that I simply wanted to share. Based on Bourne Identity, it really is one of my favorite pieces of writing and right now I am considering something (secret something) – while I work on Redbriar – so, if any of my followers will take the time and tell me what you think about it…anything about it… I surely will appreciate it.
Copyrighted to me. Please don’t distribute without permission.
Grey sunlight, typical of London, poured through a white curtained window into a plush, upper class, parlor, spilling over a dark piano poised in front of it. More
PS. Redbriar…I know where I want to take it, the dark corners at least, however, I’m at the front door and can’t seem to get from the rug to the hall and get into those dark corners…does any one understand that???…anywho, I’m struggling. It’s there and I’m hoping to stumble upon it. The point of me saying this is to let all of you know, especially June, that it is not abandoned – I am working on it! In a vague, irritating kind of way, but, hey, that’s my style…apparently…lol…It’s late. Goodnight and love to you all.
pps. josh groban is my soul food!